What, if anything, do you do to wrap up your year? For me, this week between Christmas and New Year’s has been a gift because I have been able to reflect and dream and plan and wish and let go of the “To Do” lists. The holiday busyness is over and I have chosen to spend time with myself.
I had a good year, 2 terrific shows with great roles. I actually got to sing and dance again. Also, told a story about a family growing beyond their sense of what “should” be. I continue to work on my new business and have had to admit it is a little more complex than I had initially thought. The process has been a good teacher. As I transition from the “day” job into my real work I am building bridges instead of burning them.
In my dream time, it isn’t just that I have a recurring role on TV and that the my top 3 roles I want to perform on stage are mine and will be done in the next 5 years and I have a thriving side business helping people realize their dreams. It is that I can feel and smell and hear and see and touch each of these dreams. I color them and add music to them and populate them with people I know and love and people who I don’t have any idea who they are. They are my dreams and the source of inspiration and joy in my life.
And so I have a clear plan that I believe will succeed. Well, maybe not always so clear and yet, definitely a plan. It has built in flexibility and a firm belief that persistence, intention and joy filled work can accomplish what I want to do.
Wishes are supposedly the things of childhood. For me, they are the releasing of possibility, the exploring of passion and the giving of a quiet part of ourselves to another. So I will continue to indulge in releasing the child and deepening my awareness of life.
This is the best part, the letting go. It has taken so many years and so many experiences to understand the importance of this action. It is life affirming and a true act of love. To know that I can let go of the should; that I can let go of what doesn’t work, that I can make great mistakes and have great success and that it all nurtures me and expands my understanding of life.
I like the silence and am always inspired by what comes forth. I get to ramble during this week. I get to let my mind wander. I don’t make resolutions anymore, having found them to be sources of judgment, another way to let the outside world determine who I am and what value I hold in life. I know that I/we have value because we exist. You are a wondrous work of art. Happy New Year! Thanks for traveling with me!
The words of Ellen Burstyn echo my own thoughts and intentions. Good grist for the New Year.
From her book, “In the Thick of It”
“I was exploring the nature of the feminine hero and how she was different from a heroine. I’d read somewhere that a hero goes out into the world, meets his enemy, prevails, and founds a new order, while a heroine simply endures. I felt that a feminine hero goes out into the world, meets her enemy, which in one form or another is the limitations imposed on her by her culture, and she not only endures, she also prevails and founds a new order.
I guess I was trying to create a new myth for women.
I didn’t succeed, but success isn’t the only gauge of the value of an effort.”